Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
