When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need a beard to bite.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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