its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
