i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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