I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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