OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
