Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
