I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
