i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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