There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
