Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
