It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
