The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
