i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
