i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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