Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
