The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
