Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize