I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
