My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
