They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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