Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
