I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
