a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
