Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You smell like stripper and shame
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
