Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
