And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
