I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he was CRYING into my vagina
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
