im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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