i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize