you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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