I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize