yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
