You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
