nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize