What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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