I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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