you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize