i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
