i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
