he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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