There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize