Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
