Nicole vs. Life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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