I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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