Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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