I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
