I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize