What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
