All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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