Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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