is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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