Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
That accounts for only three of the penises
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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