So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
