fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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