never play flip cup with pint glasses
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
