I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
