Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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