tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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