Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
