He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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