you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
