we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
