This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
