and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
