so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
