gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
